3 Steps to Forgiveness and Reconciliation

 

Of the deadliest poisons, one is bitterness, because it eats away at the heart leaving in its wake broken relationships, pain and spiritual decay. But you must be asking yourself, "can I really unshackle myself from the bondage of acrimony?

You are not alone( not good news though). there are so many others just like you,strugglung with anger, unresolved issues, and deep-seated hurt that create a barricade of resentment, which separates you from others and even from experiencing the very essence of God.

Good news: there is a cure, which you have been avoiding. like the sour-tasting pills that make you puke but ultimately ease your pain, you will only find healing within forgiveness and reconciliation.

The Burden of Bitterness

Holding on to grudges is like carrying a heavy load that only gets heavier with time. The more you harbor piqueness in your heart, the more you feel the need to revenge. The truth is, bitterness is not just an emotional burden: it seeps into every aspect of your life, affecting your relationships, physical and mental health, and spiritual well-being.

In Hebrews 12:15, the Bible warns:

Hebrews 12:15

The Voice

15 Watch carefully that no one falls short of God’s favor, that no well of bitterness springs up to trouble you and throw many others off the path.

Bitterness defiles both the wronged person and also those around them. It's like a fart, that makes the air foul for those in the vicinity though it only came from one person. But this one does not lead to a mere twitching of the nose: it leads to anger, malice revenge, and separates us from those we care about.

Forgiveness

Forgiveness is not about justifying wrongs done to us or even forgetting the pain. There is another word for that. Instead, it's about releasing yourself from the grip of anger and resentment. 

You don't have to be a prisoner of your own feelings all your life. You don't have to carry someone in your heart for decades. You don't have to keep poisoning yourself till thy kingdom come.

Forgiveness is an act of grace, a decision to let go of the need for revenge, and entrust justice to God. Imagine one day without that lump in your throat when you think of a certain person, won't it be great? This life is too short to allow yourself to languish in enmity.

Let God do the heavy-lifting while you enjoy life to the fullest. If you ever feel like you have been subjugated, justice belongs to God. Instead of planning how to get at the other person, plan on a night out with friends. You can even invite the one who wronged you and start working things out.

This is what Christ Jesus taught:

Matthew 6:14-15

The Voice

Jesus says to declare forgiveness of those who have wronged us. This is because forgiveness of other people emulates God’s forgiveness of us.

14 If you forgive people when they sin against you, then your Father will forgive you when you sin against Him and when you sin against your neighbor. 15 But if you do not forgive your neighbors’ sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.

Forgiveness starts with a conscious decision. A decision to let go of hard feelings and to embrace the brighter side of life. The results may not happen overnight. The pain may linger, but each step brings toward healing.

Don't hesitate to take that step toward a better you. Don't stop at what someone did to you. Don't be halted by your feelings, which may try to steer you in another direction. 

Forgiveness unchains you from bitterness and opens the door to reconciliation.

Reconciliation

Forgiveness is individual, but reconciliation is mutual. It requires the input of both parties. One party extends grace and the other receives. Sometimes it's not about who did wrong, or who failed, it's about forging a new path and putting the past behind you.

Restoring broken relationships is not a walk in the park though: it requires courage, humility, repentance and willingness to walk together. This is not subjective to which party, the aggrieved or otherwise, but a mutual need. All parties need these qualities in equal proportion for reconciliation to surfice.

However this doesn't mean that broken relationships will be reinstated to their previous position. It is normal for people to act suspicious of each other after coming back together, or to harbor some sort of reservations. But at least by making an effort towards reconciling, peace and understanding can be achieved.

Matthew 5:23-24

The Voice

23 Therefore, if you are bringing an offering to God and you remember that your brother is angry at you or holds a grudge against you, 24 then leave your gift before the altar, go to your brother, repent and forgive one another, be reconciled, and then return to the altar to offer your gift to God.

Reconciliation is an act of obedience to God, reflecting his desire for us to live in peace and harmony, unity and love. It's not a requirement of some basic law we must fulfil, but the very essence of the image of God.

Don't be afraid, even the most fractured relationships can be healed. You just need to be willing to work together to glue the pieces together. 

Path to Renewal

the path towards reconciliation through forgiveness meanders through thickets, rocks and swamps. It's Not easy, but it's vital.

It's a journey that requires humility, courage, faith... but the rewards are immeasurable. I once asked a lady if she was so furious with me as to put a bullet through my head, and it prompted a huge debate that eventually led to "peace talks". Am not proud of the approach I took then, but at least it ignited something that shed light on our predicament.

Instead of pointing her resentment at me like a loaded gun, she put the safety catch back on and downed her arms so we could talk things over. That's the spirit of forgiveness and reconciliation.

By choosing reconciliation, you break free from bondage to bitterness and open your heart to healing, restoration of relationship and to peace.

Ephesians 4:32

New International Version

32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

Christ Jesus is the epitome of forgiveness and reconciliation. He bore our sins, forgave us and reconciled us to God. Imagine if God still held a grudge against you; how long would you live? But he didn't wait for you to say how sorry you were. Instead He packaged Himself in a body like yours, to be able to feel like you, and bore the punishment due to you.

I know you can't possibly die for your most treasured mate, let alone your enemy. but you can definitely try to bring them closer. Remember, the burden of hurt lies heavily on you, not the other person who wronged you. It's you who is wounded, not them.

It's you who is imprisoned by your own negative feelings. Follow Christ's example and break free. Don't be held back anymore by negativity. Don't suffer while others are enjoying this precious life. Let go of spite and embrace love. 

Remember: there is renewal in forgiveness and reconciliation.