Forgiveness and Reconciliation: Reconciling with the Past

You will learn to live a happier life if you learn to forgive and forget

Forgiveness

This is the source of very deep actions of forgiveness and reconciliation; they heal our souls and repair the fragmented relationships that have been disintegrated. These processes are not easy, which requires a high degree of courage and humility. In solving these ruptured relationships, the path requires that we understand true forgiveness and right the wrongs committed. The process is difficult, but at the same time, it is worthy in experiencing inner peace and spiritual growth.

Our Power to Forgive

Forgiveness is an action of power—freeing us from being enslaved by our own bitterness and resentment. Not necessarily forgetting the wrongs done to us, but choosing to let go of their claim on our hearts—in an act of the will.

Consider a lady called Sarah, who draped the albatross of her bitterness against her father for many years. He had left the family when she was but a small girl, leaving her feeling abandoned and all alone. That abandonment hurt had trailed her into adulthood, poisoning her relationships and robbing her of joy. Every time she would try to get on with her life, the bitterness pulled her back again, shining the spotlight on those ugly deep scars from her childhood.

One day, Sarah attended a church service where the preacher was talking about the power of forgiveness. 

His message pierced her heart and she suddenly realized that her angry feelings did not hurt her father at all; it only killed her inside. 

Sarah prayed that she receives the grace to forgive, not her father for his wrongful deeds towards her, but to free herself from the bitterness that had taken control of her. 

As she whispered some prayer of forgiveness, a weight lifted from her shoulders, and for the first time in years, she found true peace.

The Bible underlines that liberating power of forgiveness in

 Ephesians 4:31-32 (NLT)

Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you."* The journey of forgiveness for Sarah had enabled her to move on, no longer held hostage by the pain in her past.

The Road to Reconciliation

While forgiveness is a personal act, reconciliation is a joint effort. It involves the rebuilding of trust and restoration of relationships gone bad. 

Reconciliation is a process that calls for humility and patience and often the will to confront unpleasant truths.

Consider the example from the Bible of Joseph. While his brothers sold him off into slavery, he spent years being away from home, undergoing so much hardship, and led a completely different life. 

Even when his brothers wrongly sold him into slavery, Joseph did not take revenge on them when he finally rose to a position of power within the government of Egypt. 

He tested the hearts of the brothers, to see whether they had changed or not, and after he was convinced that they were truly repentant, Joseph revealed himself to them, embraced them, and gave them his forgiveness.

In Genesis 50:20-21 (NLT), Joseph tells his brothers', "You intended to harm me, but God intended it all for good. He brought me to this position so I could save the lives of many people.  21  No, don't be afraid. I will continue to take care of you and your children." So he reassured them by speaking kindly to them.

Joseph did not immediately set on a reconciliatory journey. It took him some internalization that probably God would heal the wounds of the past. 

Joseph, for giving his brothers and reconciling with them, did not just restore his family; he eventually saved them from the famine.

 Reconciling With the Past

Reconciling with the past is an important step that has to be made on the journey to forgiveness and reconciliation—to acknowledge the pain, seek healing, and decide to walk on with love and grace. 

It does not mean that the past has been erased or that the wrongs, by some magical process, are now right, but it does mean that now no longer has the past power over our present and future.

When we reflect on the stories of Sarah and Joseph, we realize that forgiveness and reconciliation are very important to our relationship with God. 

They are the most faithful of acts: the incidents that challenge us and call us to embrace God's plan and transforming power, that even in the agony of it all, it could result in healing and growth.

In 2 Corinthians 5:18 (NLT), Paul reminds us, "And all of this is a gift from God, who brought us back to himself through Christ. And God has given us this task of reconciling people to him."

 Just as God has reconciled us to Himself through Christ, we are called to pursue reconciliation in our relationships.

Conclusion

Forgiveness and reconciliation are not easy, yet they are part and parcel of our well-being and spiritual growth. In the act of forgiving and striving for reconciliation with others, the deepest healing and peace will come. 

It is painful, but what freedom of the past and the future that you gain with every step is so much a benefit.

As you consider your personal history, think about areas where you might need to forgive or be reconciled. Pray for empowerment to make the necessary steps, believing that God will guide your process. 

Remember, although the past shapes us, it does not define us. Forgiveness and reconciliation can bring freedom that will enable us to move on—to live in the fullness of God's grace.