Marriage is an institution ordained by God, meant to mirror God's covenantal love for us, as was shown in Ephesians 5:25-32. But like everything of value, it becomes worthless if not handled properly. This post will delve into how to ruin a perfect marriage not because we want to fail but to point out what to avoid in building a healthy, Christ-centered union.
1. Stop Communicating
If you want to sabotage your marriage, don't communicate openly. Don't express your feelings. Don't show affection. Bottling up frustrations. Proverbs 18:21 says, "The tongue has the power of life and death." No communication kills trust and intimacy. The foundation for a great marriage is open and loving communication.
2. Be Selfish
A surefire way to kill your marriage is to make sure your own desires are met before and above the needs of your spouse. The scriptures say in Philippians 2:3-4 to "value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others." Selfishness depletes the mutual sacrifice necessary to maintain a relationship. Choose selflessness.
3. Ignore God's Design
You have to remove God's purpose for marriage, and then you will have removed the very foundation of it. Marriage is more than a human contract; it's a covenant before God. Genesis 2:24 says, "That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh." The absence of God at the center loosens the bond. You align your marriage to His Word to make it stronger.
4. Harbor Unforgiveness
Harbor grudges, and bitterness will be the death of your relationship. Ephesians 4:31-32 reminds us to "get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger. forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you." Forgiveness is healing and unifying. Without it, even the smallest hurts fester into division.
5. Neglect Intimacy
To destroy a marriage, neglect physical and emotional intimacy. 1 Corinthians 7:3-5 reminds us that love and care in marriage is to be mutual. Intimacy isn't just physical; it's connecting on all levels. To nurture your marriage, invest in these connections intentionally.
6. Focus on Faults
Constant nagging of your spouse is a great way to tear them down. Jesus said in Matthew 7:3-5 to take the "plank in your own eye" out before judging others. Build up your spouse with encouragement instead of tearing them down with negativity.
7. Be Unequally Yoked
A mismatch in spiritual priorities creates a conflict. 2 Corinthians 6:14 says, "Do not be yoked together with unbelievers." Not only initial choices but maintaining unity in faith throughout the marriage is what is implied here. Pray together, worship together, and let Christ be that common ground.
8. Allow Outside Influences to Control You
Let other voices be the voice of your marriage, and division won't be far behind. Genesis 2:24 reminds us to leave and cleave-to make your spouse the top priority above all others. Set healthy boundaries with family, friends, and work, ensuring nothing eclipses your commitment.
9. Stop Praying Together
Prayerlessness is a silent killer of marriages. James 5:16 says, "The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective." In prayerlessness, couples lose access to God's power to sustain their relationship. Pray daily for wisdom, love, and strength in your marriage.
Conclusion: Building a Marriage that Lasts
And the secret to not messing up a marriage is rather simple: just do the opposite of all of the above. Devote yourself to godly communication, selflessness, forgiveness, intimacy, encouragement, spiritual unity, and prayer. Marriage requires work, but with Christ at the center, it's a beautiful reflection of God's love.
Let us, therefore, learn from what not to do and deliberately construct marriages that honor God, bless our families, and inspire others. A perfect marriage is not one with no challenges but one in which both partners choose to grow together in love, grace, and faith.
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